Recently, I've been feeling lonely... I do not mean lonely as in literally but emotionally...
Take last Saturday for instance.. I was supposed to decide whether should I invite my two best buddies to my poolside party, but because there was some conflict between my parents and my best buddies last time.. I was in a dilemma..
So I told Dydy that I wanted to invite them because without them it would be rather dull.. because if they weren't there, Martin and my college friends wouldn't get alone, as my two buddies are something like a bridge connecting them... so I insisted on inviting them.. However, Dydy told me that my parents do not allow me to invite them but then I wondered to myself, why in the first place they asked me to decide whether to invite them or not when they do not want them there... So I tried to sort things out with my parents but ended up arguing with them.. then I thought that my dear would side me and comfort me but instead she got mad at me for arguing with my parents, insisted that I apologize and called me childish and kiddish..
I was deeply scarred by her words.. I felt so lonely that I'm left alone by the two sides whom I thought loved me the most...
Today was another day that I felt that loneliness..
I was chatting with my dear online and asking her about some hotel bookings stuff for our Australia trip in May, but she seems eager to go offline to play her games instead because she said being online on Skype makes the game lag and crash.
So from her messages in Skype I could feel that she's annoyed by me asking about the hotel stuffs and just wanted to offline because she states that she wants to go offline twice.
In the end, she just ended with a "love you, bye".
Normally she would be like "alrite, anything message me on Skype ya" "love you dearie" and etc, you know, those lovey-dovey stuff.. but this time is just like "love you, bye"... So, of course I felt like the game is more important than me... Sigh.. even now as I'm writing this entry... I'm writing this out of loneliness and disappointment.. normally now we would be chatting over the phone or Skype...
Well... I guess I'll just sign off here...
0 peepz:
Post a Comment